What a Cancer Patient Needs

During my 12 years working as a radiation therapist (administering radiation therapy to cancer patients) I witnessed patients in all stages of their journey in their fight against cancer. One issue that many patients faced was the disconnect with friends. When someone is diagnosed with cancer their friends either close in around them, support them, uplift them and get them through...or they don't know what to do or say and they stay away because of the awkwardness of the situation.

All too often it was the latter that happened and it left the patient feeling lonely and abandoned. I honestly don't think the friends meant to abandon the patients in their time of need; I think they just didn't know what to do or say...so they did nothing.

We all think we must have the perfect thing to say in these impossible situations. I promise you that your friend will appreciate it so much if you just have the guts to talk honestly. Say "I have no idea what I'm supposed to do or say to you right now. But, I want you to know that I'm here for you no matter what you need or what time of the day or night you need me. I'm going to support you in any way that you need in this fight against cancer!"

The other thing I saw relating to the emotional well-being of the patients was that their friends rallied at the beginning but then faded as time went on and their lives got busy. When someone is diagnosed with cancer it is the start of a long, tough battle. Depending on the type of cancer, surgery can just be the beginning. Chemotherapy often lasts for months and radiation therapy is another couple months from start to finish.

The best thing you can do as the friend of a newly diagnosed cancer patient is plan to be in support mode for at least a year. Pace yourself accordingly. Figure out where help and support are needed most. Keep in mind that the battle is also difficult on the family/loved ones/caregivers. Where is help needed: getting to treatments? with the kids? meals? cleaning house? etc.
Next, rally a group of friends and set up a support schedule. It's amazing how everyone giving a little can add up to be so much and not drain anyone completely in the process. And that way you always have more to give because of course, you are always "on call" for those emergencies (physical and emotional) when your friend will be having a "down" day and will need you!

That is what I witnessed and my words of advice to those of you who have close friends taking on this battle against cancer.

A few months ago, I had the pleasure of attending several Ovarian Cancer support and awareness groups. Among the amazing ovarian cancer patients and survivors was Kia Riddick...another inspiring young woman. This post from her blog about what a patient needs is the best list I've ever seen. You've got to check it out!